Actual conversations from my house 11.9.11

(explaining to my family that I was under light sedation today and able to watch the monitors as the performed the colonoscopy procedure)
Bill: oh god, what did that look like?!
Alex: I'm sure it looked like a bad intro to Dr. Who.

Actual Conversations from my house 11.8.11

Actual conversations from my house 11.8.11
(Walking past the apple pie I made which no one bothered to even try)
Alex: Mom is going to flip her shit if no one eats her pie!......Ugh.. I wish I didn't say that.
Bill: I think you just made God cry.