What on earth possessed me to take a year off of the music scene!? That could have been a big source of my depression right there. In the last month, I have been to more live shows than I have been to last year! Last night, Blue October w/ the Damnwells. And I am still smiling today. Although, Blue October throws a pretty lame after party. Pretty much Ryan spinning tunes on his laptop and everyone gathering around staring. Jeremey chilling out, and CB working the crowd. I had about 10 mins of that before I went home. As far as a Blue concert, it was pretty mellow. But they never disappoint! Justin singled me out during X amount of words and gestured for me to clap. I was clapping, he just didn't see my hands. I showed him my hands, and he gave me the double thumbs up sign. Yep, yep..this is where my spirit soars! I'm a live concert junkie!
So, day 3 into my health awareness lifestyle. I did great, up until around midnight-2am. I stumbled a bit. But no major setbacks. I am back on track today. And another amazing concert tonight. I have things to look forward to with NYC and my sister on the horizon next week!
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
48 hours
Whoa! It's been a long time since I blogged! I re-read my past entries. It's so true, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Also, I make myself laugh. Ahh, those were good times. And looky here, another Granian..ahem...kill the alarm CD release party is on the horizon! It's been a long time indeed.
So, what is going on with me!? Well, on Tuesday, there was a quasi-intervention staged on my behalf. I am now halfway out of the closet as an admitted bulimic. Yeah it sucks. I hate labels. And heaven knows I never thought I would admit myself to be a bulimic. It was just a way of life for me. For 20 years! So, it's been 48 hours. The first 24, not bad. The last 24..it's getting harder.
Yesterday I came in under my caloric range. And in my head, I think that is a good thing. Although I can see how that can easily become a bad thing. I ate about 1150 calories yesterday. I kept it all down. Towards the end of the evening, it became harder not to binge. I saw the problem coming. I missed my 6 oclock meal. If I am going to do this right, I have to eat every 4 hours. If I miss a meal, I know I will binge and in turn purge. So, after missing my 6'oclock (but not on purpose..I just forgot!), I went to the gym and did more cardio then taught 2 classes. I was not in a good place. So it took everything within me to come home and eat a normal meal. But I did it. I am 57 hours into my new life. It's so very hard.
So my yesterday summary: Cardio 55 mins, plus 120 mins of bellydance class, I ate 1150 calories: 102 g of protien, 33 g fat, 120 carbs. Ooh, and I took my vitamin Deb gave me! I'm going to call it a success and move on. Because I am into my 3rd day, can it is starting to feel like such a challenge. So I really need to concentrate today. I had breakfast, and I am off to the gym!
So, what is going on with me!? Well, on Tuesday, there was a quasi-intervention staged on my behalf. I am now halfway out of the closet as an admitted bulimic. Yeah it sucks. I hate labels. And heaven knows I never thought I would admit myself to be a bulimic. It was just a way of life for me. For 20 years! So, it's been 48 hours. The first 24, not bad. The last 24..it's getting harder.
Yesterday I came in under my caloric range. And in my head, I think that is a good thing. Although I can see how that can easily become a bad thing. I ate about 1150 calories yesterday. I kept it all down. Towards the end of the evening, it became harder not to binge. I saw the problem coming. I missed my 6 oclock meal. If I am going to do this right, I have to eat every 4 hours. If I miss a meal, I know I will binge and in turn purge. So, after missing my 6'oclock (but not on purpose..I just forgot!), I went to the gym and did more cardio then taught 2 classes. I was not in a good place. So it took everything within me to come home and eat a normal meal. But I did it. I am 57 hours into my new life. It's so very hard.
So my yesterday summary: Cardio 55 mins, plus 120 mins of bellydance class, I ate 1150 calories: 102 g of protien, 33 g fat, 120 carbs. Ooh, and I took my vitamin Deb gave me! I'm going to call it a success and move on. Because I am into my 3rd day, can it is starting to feel like such a challenge. So I really need to concentrate today. I had breakfast, and I am off to the gym!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
